Michelin Recognizes Canadian Eatery

By Mr. Sparkle

Nov. 25 (Bloomberg) -- Michelin & Cie. awarded its prestigious symbol of distinction to a restaurant in the outskirts of Shanghai in the latest editions of its dining and hotel guides.

In an unprecedented move, the renowned publication awarded half a star on its first and last visit to the Fifth Floor Recluse, a recently established restaurant occupying the kitchen of the exclusive Block 13 penthouse in Anting New Town, Shanghai.

JL runs the show as host, owner, server and chef. Known for his chilly demeanor, he was guarded on the phone when I called to reserve a table. “We don’t do reservations, you wait like everyone else. Who? Bloomberg? Well, let me check… wait are you wearing a wire?”

So it is dining at the Recluse. On any given night, the restaurant is so exclusive that it only admits one customer, JL himself. The fare certainly reflects his distinct tastes. “I don’t do appetizers, they only make the customer hungrier, and I don’t need that,” he explained. On to the main course.

Extremely sophisticated in his approach, JL has framed his dishes around the availability of ingredients in Shanghai’s markets. This includes selecting vegetables that have been tightly packaged, to enhance grocery mobility and also avoid unwittingly smuggling the cockroaches that roam around store aisles. He then pan fries or boils his ingredients using a gas stove, as it is the fastest way.

He creates gastronomic masterpieces using the freshness of his ingredients as a crutch. Common features of his dishes are cherry tomatoes, cucumber slices, peas and chilies. Sometimes he will also throw in peanuts to remind others he is not allergic.


The sirloin fedelini del carne was infallible, although the one thing that required skill, the beef, was overcooked. The ‘chicken on fire’ was indeed spicy and thanks to honey, possessed a hint of sweetness. However, it was also watery. As a salute to his European comrades, the potatoes and dumplings oozed with limp enthusiasm. However, the roasted duck with refried noodle was surprisingly scrumptious.


JL’s signature dish, however, appears on his most desperate nights. Grilled pain au fromage avec chips reaches into the inner depths of the soul with its refreshing familiarity and complex textures.


Mrs. Wong, the owner of the aptly named Rubble Street Café in Anting Old Town, a winner of two Michelin stars stated, “Who does this guy think he is? He just came out of nowhere two months ago. Since then, my business has been unaffected. Last week, to maintain things as usual, I even had to install a door in the doorway. Now the servers have absolutely no idea: push or pull? This town’s become a madhouse.”


The enigmatic and precocious restauranteur trained under three of Canada’s greats, Iven, Teena and Bessee. Known for their ruthlessly efficient and equally delicious cuisine, JL’s technique was honed over years of grueling instruction. He remarks, “I just kind of sat there and watched while they did everything. It was like learning through osmosis, except I also played Gameboy at the same time. Sometimes, after particularly intense sessions, I would get calluses on both thumbs.”

Usually chefs keep their culinary secrets guarded tightly, only revealing them upon death or signing multimillion dollar book deals. When asked whether the spartan taste of his meals was influenced by any particular chefs, his face darkened. “Jamie Oliver? He’s a hack,” JL fumed. “I’ll tell you my secret,” he continued, “Don’t buy so many ingredients. By limiting the number of ingredients in your meals, you ensure consistency.” However, he admitted this Machiavellian all-or-nothing approach had its drawbacks. “Sometimes, my customer leaves very hungry. After he threatened to never come back, I imported a box of cereal from downtown. It’s the best Kokokrunch in town.”


And therein lies the secret of his success. When a chef creates such low expectations, restaurant critics can’t help but be impressed when the food turns out to be edible. Even the world’s most seasoned professionals can succumb to a myopic view after eating here.

“Hey man, I gotta survive,” JL asserts as he finishes washing plates for the night.

Indeed.

Michelin, the world's biggest tiremaker, is based in Clermont-Ferrand, France, and has been publishing dining guides for more than a century. Three stars denote ``Exceptional cuisine, worth a special journey;'' two stars, ``Excellent cooking, worth a detour;'' one star, ``Very good cooking in its category.''

Rating: *

The Bloomberg Questions

Cost? Nothing over 20 RMB.
Sound level? Pin drop quiet.
Date place? Only if your date likes JL.
Inside tip? Best food is on Mondays when he has the most ingredients.
Special feature? Ask for the Minute Maid.
Private room? No.
Will I be back? No.

Fifth Floor Recluse is on the fifth floor, apartment block 13, Anting New Town, Shanghai, PRC.

What the Stars Mean:
**** Incomparable food, service, ambience.
*** First-class of its kind.
** Good, reliable.
* Fair
None Poor.

Dialogue

- Free, as much as I would love to live among symbols of Fascist oppression, I believe the statues are of the Brothers Grimm, as a tribute to the town of Gottingen.
- BunkleLife, I think at my roommates' old place. It smells too funky in there.
- Nick, at least Silent Hill was in English.
- Tim, now I know why Richmond drivers have that reputation.
- Char, I will ride on the Pikachu once before I leave town.
- Em, that store wasn't the 24 hours one. This one never bothered to post up its hours.